The Delirious Movie Wikia


  • Operator - "Are you still holding?"
    Jack Gable - "I've got somethin' for you to hold, lady..."
    Operator - "Sir, if this is an obscene phone call, we have ways of tracing it."
    Jack Gable - "I want you to trace it. I demand that you trace it! My address is…" (Cut off - Screaming)

  • Louise Fletcher - "Yes, mom I got the brownies... And the mace... Mom, will you please stop worrying? Everyone gets mugged here at least once a week."

  • Narrator - "Billionaire patriarch, Carter Hedison, having recently recovered from a brain tumor, battles death once again as his ambitious daughter Rachel plots her next move."


  • Jack Gable - "Jesus! When did we build this? We're gonna go way over budget!"
    Helen Caldwell - "I don't understand. His tests were normal."

  • Jack Gable - "I am dead! I'm in Hell! And my punishment... is to spend eternity on my own show!"

  • Jack Gable - "He's operating on people? He's an actor! He's not even a good one!"

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  • Jack Gable - "I'm a writer! Do you hear me? All I wanna do is get outta this stinkin' little town!"
    Janet DuBois - "Well, then, do it! I mean, you say you're a writer then... write your way out!"

  • Jack Gable - "Ohh! Why didn't I write myself back to the stable?!"

  • Ty Hedison - "Watch it, Blake, or I'll give you a headache you won't forget."
    Carter Hedison - "You lay one finger on him, Ty..."
    Ty Hedison - "Always protecting Blake, Daddy! Sometimes I wish I wasn't your son." (pausing) "If I am your son."

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  • Lou Riley - "When did you start carrying a knife?"

  • Rachel Hedison - "So, the mysterious stranger rides to the rescue again."
    Jack Gable - "Madam, this stranger knows no danger. I am much stranger than you think."

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  • Rachel Hedison - "What is it, Daddy? Is something wrong?"
    Carter Hedison - "The cable TV man is coming."
    Blake Hedison - "But don't you have to go the stockholders' meeting."
    Carter Hedison - "You know how hard it is getting those guys to come out. I've got black bars on two and seven."

  • Ty Hedison - "No, there's more. Gates has all these crazy notes. He knows everything about us. He knows about our phony drug tests, your brain tumour, and even my... my..."
    Dr. Paul Kirkwood - "Amnesia!"

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  • Carter Hedison - "What does that man want? Is he out to break us or to see us in jail?"
    Dr. Paul Kirkwood - "If I can't have Rachel, I don't care about jail! And I hope your cable man never shows up!"

  • Jack Gates - "This nebbish has been masquerading as me, and you believed him?"

  • Jack Gates - "I have to go to... Cleveland? Jesus, I hate Cleveland."

  • Deborah Nordoff - "Almost killed with the engaging thoracic surgeon was his philanthropist socialite fiance, Rachel Hedison, daughter of industrialist and well-known socialist... socialite, Carter Hedison. From Ashford Falls Falls, this is your Ashford Falls reporter, Debbie Nordoff."

  • Rachel Hedison - "When I'm with him, it's as if... I don't have a mind of my own. He has this... strange power over me."
    Blake Hedison - "Maybe he's a Scientologist?"

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  • Ty Hedison - "Golly, I've missed you. Remember the time I was gonna ask you to the prom?"
    Janet DuBois - "And your father wouldn't let you."
    Ty Hedison - "Uh, no. No, th-that's not true. That was the time that I got... I got, um..."
    Edward Ashworth - "Amnesia, sir."
    Ty Hedison - "Remember?"

  • Dr. Paul Kirkwood - "I thought you were announcing our engagement. Why did you ask him to play the piano?"
    Carter Hedison - "I didn't. I also didn't ask him to sing "Send In The Clowns" either."

  • Ty Hedison - "So, Janet, while you're here, maybe we could go horseback riding."
    Janet DuBois - "I don't think so."

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  • Voice - "Paul doesn't know the Heimlich?!"
    Dr. Paul Kirkwood - "Well, of course I know the Heimlich. I know the Heimlich. I know the Heimlich! Jim, you know I know the Heimlich. Look, I love the Heimlich! I'm always doing the Heimlich. It's one of my favourite maneuvers! I'm a medical doctor!"

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  • Helen Caldwell - "Mr. Hedison... Blake... I see you're still under Dr Kirkwood's care."

  • Ty Hedison - "Dad, you're not gonna stop me this time. I realized tonight that I'm still in love with Janet, and that I always will be!"
    Carter Hedison - "Of course you're in love with her! She's your sister!"

  • Jack Gable - "Janet, what are they doing to you?"
    Janet DuBois - "By the way, our deal's off, Gates. The formula stays in the family and I get... fifty percent."
    Carter Hedison - "She's a Hedison all right!"

  • Jack Gable - "Can you stop the bleeding?"
    Rachel Hedison - "Yes, Paul, stop the bleeding. She's ruining the parquet floor!"

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  • Ty Hedison - "But don't you see? If Janet is my sister then I still have a chance with Rachel!"
    Orderly - "I'll make sure he's well taken care of!"
    Carter Hedison - "Don't bother."

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  • Jack Gable - "What are you doing here? I sent you to Cleveland."
    Jack Gates - "I should kill you for that alone. I want that formula."
    Jack Gable - "Oh... go do a mini-series or something!"

  • Jack Gates - "Nobody... crosses Jack Gates."
    Jack Gable - "Fine! "Nobody crosses Jack Gates." Great line."

  • Lou Sherwood - "All right, I agree. You wanna die on a sandwich you shouldn't even be eating?"

  • Jack Gable - "Look, the part of the lesbian maid is taken, but I'm gonna get you Janet."